I know a wise man called Nick who looks a lot like a pirate when he forgets to shave. He has a pet bird, but both his legs are real, so I guess the comparison only goes so far.

It could have been Nick, but it might have been someone else who has been known to philosophise about Life, the Universe and Everything over a bottle or five of red, who said the most important things you will decide in your life are:

• What to do
• Who to do it with
• Where to do it

The list sounds vaguely like a kinky Cluedo: “It was colonel mustard on the kitchen table with Miss Scarlett!”  However, it kind of stuck with me.

I think I’m pretty comfortable with the decisions I’ve made on these so far, leading me to life with Thor (although he is occasionally more Hagar-esque) with a pretty good gig in a city I’ve tried to leave three times but never really managed to.

In 2002, I moved to Perth for “two years probably,” just like everyone else. Yeah… that plan didn’t pan out.

Anyway, given the What and the Who are more or less locked-in at present – notwithstanding the outcome of the upcoming State election which could boot me unceremoniously out of the job – it really is the Where part that is most relevant in the context of a blog about buying a house.

There are a bunch of variously both helpful and ludicrous websites providing lists of things to take into consideration when choosing a house and its location.

At least two of the five sites surveyed suggested taking into account where your friends and family live. This was first raised with me at a long afternoon beach barbecue which ended when a rather muscular Staffy was hoisted over a balcony and thus smuggled into the nearest pub. Don’t ask, it’s just how we roll. Over potato salad and Hendricks and Tonic, the Real Estate Agent was the first to ask me the same question:

“Well, where do your friends live?”

Ummmm…. Everywhere?

So in the spirit of thoroughness and blogging, I mapped you all.

The outcome of this exercise was to discover the only people I know, whose homes I’m known to make semi-regular appearances at, living more than 10km from the Perth CBD are Scarborough-dwellers, who are potentially slightly underrepresented on the map.

(Incidentally, this map excludes people I forgot, renters, stay-at-home grown-ups and transients likely to leave the city.)

The bulk of pins on the map are towards the north-east, which lends itself to the North Perth-Highgate- Maylands stretch along Guildford Road, in an area of Perth I’m quite fond of and accessibility to high-quality wine and cake is easy. Although the beach is a really long way away from there.

The other obvious downside is this it puts me closer to ANA Rowing Club than WARC. A quandary I concede, but possibly not insurmountable.

SOTR looks less friend-and-family laden, although Vic Park is growing on me and you can get really good Indian food at their local IGA. And good mates there have a swimming pool: Handy for heatwaves.

Also, all the Real Estate writers and magazines like Vic Park, except for the crime rate. Thanks very much, Armadale train line.

Like all good statistics, this map pretty much just confirmed what I was thinking location-wise. Inside the purple circle would be good (wow, I didn’t realise I made the circle purple. How appropriate.) The golden triangle is out and the real decision will be: Friends, beach or city.

This exercise possibly contributed absolutely nothing to the house purchasing process.

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