Taking photographs of the inner-city apartment to use in advertising in the vain hope we jag a tenant before our final get-out date on May 28 was somewhat harrowing.

Turns out we (ok, largely I) own a lot of random crap.

In the photos, you could play spotto with the following items:

• a TARDIS-shaped super-sized coffee mug
• a Ted replica (you know, from the movie) toy
• a Dalek
• a model Melbourne w-class tram
• the words “shun the non-believer” written in magnetic scrabble letters (reference old-school early 2000s meme, Charlie the Unicorn. Feel free to click the link, but I warn you, that’s three minutes of your life you’ll never get back.)
• a 4m long wooden oar
• a gamer-style beanbag
• a DVD of Father of the Bride.

It is possible that until undertaking this exercise there was a level of denial about how much of nerddom I subscribe to. Truth be told, I can have entire conversations in Simpsons and Seinfield quotes, and am more familiar with the order of Dr Who actors than I am with the periodic table.

(Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen… Hartnell, Troughton, Pertwee, Baker, Davison, Baker, McCoy, McGann, Eccleston, Tennant, Smith)

Anyway, the pending move date is May 14ish. Ideally we’ll have a couple of weeks with keys to both properties to get stuff sorted out, including moving the strange and slightly concerning mix of pop-culture trinkets.

I have to say, I’m not sure we’re going to get a tenant in.

And here’s why:

The apartment has been advertised for $200 more per week than we currently pay.

That’s a 40 per cent increase on the weekly rental when we moved in. You could buy a new Empacher single scull for this amount in a year. We’re talking a rental increase that could be converted to European carbon. Insane.

The Real Estate Institute of Australia has helpfully told me rental rates have increased almost 12 per cent from the same time last year. Not quite the 40 per cent in two years rate we’re looking at – but possibly not far off.

Presumably, we’re not the only ones stunned by the sudden rental increase and I’m incredibly thankful we are in the luxurious position of being under no pressure to re-sign.

The average Perth rental for a house is $480. You could rent this apartment… or you could rent two suburban units. Or you could save your pennies and buy an Empacher.

I am grateful to be off the rental hamster wheel.

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